Igihe: Igitsina

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Ese nshobora kongera ubunini bw'igitsina cyanjye-ku bagabo

Ubusanzwe igitsina cy’umuhungu ni urugingo rw’umubiri rukura nk’uko

izindi zikura. Iyo umuntu akura, ibiganza birakura, ibirenge bigakura,

ukaba muremure, n’ibindi.

Gukura
kw’igitsina cy’umuhungu bibaho vuba vuba mu gihe cy’ubugimbi (ku
bahungu, ubugimbi butangira hagati y’imyaka 10 na 14)....

Menya byimazeyo ibyo gukuna guca imyeyo

Guca imyeyo cyangwa se gukuna, ni umuco washinze imizi mu Rwanda kugeza n’aho umukobwa washyingirwaga atarabikoze yasendwaga n’umugabo ku mugaragaro.

Abanyarwanda bemeraga ko gukuna bituma abashakanye baryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu gihe utarabikoze atashoboraga gushimisha umugabo we.

Iyi myemerere n’ubu iracyahari mu Rwanda rw’ubu, n’ubwo iby’umuco bigenda bivangirwa n’iterambere.

Abantu benshi cyane cyane abakiri bato, bibaza niba ibivugwa ku muco wo gukuna ari byo, niba bikenewe koko, cyangwa se niba ari cyo gicumbi cy’ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ikinyamakuru Izuba Rirashe cyaganiriye na Dr Patana Balisanze, impuguke mu buvuzi bw’indwara zo mu mutwe n’izo mu myitwarire n’imitekerereze (psychiatrie et psychotherapie), akaba n’impuguke mu buganga bujyanye n’ibitsina (Sexuologie Clinique), maze atangaza byinshi ku muco wo gukuna.

Umunyamakuru: Guca imyeyo, ubwabyo ni ugukora iki?

Guca imyeyo ni ugukurura les petites lèvres z’umwanya ndangagitsina w’abagore (imishino). Bamwe bakoresha amavuta y’inka abandi bagakoresha andi mavuta ariko bavanzemo ubundi bwoko bw’ibyatsi n’ibimera nk’intobo n’ibindi.

Umunyamakuru: Ese koko ni byo ko guca imyeyo byongera ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ku mpande zombi?

Nta bushakashatsi bwimbitse bwakozwe mu Rwanda ku bijyanye n’ibyishimo byaturuka ku kuba umugore yaraciye imyeyo, bitagirwa n’utarayiciye.

Umushakashatsi witwa Michela Fusaschi yaganiriye n’Abanyarwandakazi b’ingeri zitandukanye ku gukuna, abamuhaye ubuhamya biganjemo abaciye imyeyo barabihamya ariko nta bisobanuro bifatika biri scientifiques bishobora kubihamya.

Umunyamakuru: Bivugwa ko guca imyeyo bituma umukobwa cyangwa se umugore agira ububobere n’amazi menshi, mu by’ukuri ni cyo kibitera?

Ntago ari byo. Mu bihugu bitagira umuco wo guca imyeyo, abagore baho na bo bagira ubwo bubobere n’amazi kimwe n’abo mu bihugu bigifite uwo muco. Guca imyeyo n’ububobere ni ibintu bibiri bitandukanye.

Umunyamakuru: Muri rusange, ni iki gitera ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina?

Ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bituruka ku bintu byinshi bitandukanye. Bimwe muri byo ni ubwumvikane, ukubahana, kumenyana no kumenyerana kw’abagirana imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ubuzima bwiza bw’umubiri n’ubwo mu mutwe igihe cy’imibonano, igihe ikorewemo, aho ikorewe n’uko ikozwe n’ibindi byinshi umuntu atarondora na byo bigira uruhare mu gutuma imibonano mpuzabitsina izana ibyishimo bike cyangwa byinshi.

Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya ko mu bijyanye n’ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina nta kigero cy’ikitegererezo ku bantu bose igihe cyose.

Imibonano mpuzabitsina ntabwo ari ikintu kiri gusa mecanique (gisaba imbaraga) cyangwa se physiologique (kijyanye n’imitekerereze n’imyitwarire) ahubwo ni na émotionnel (kigendera ku marangamutima). Ibyo byose bikoranye ni byo byagena ibyishimo umuntu yakuramo.

Umunyamakuru: Mbese birashoboka ko umukobwa utaraciye imyeyo yaryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, akanashimisha uwo bari kumwe?

Birashoboka cyane kuko nk’uko nabivuze haruguru, kuryoherwa ntibishingiye gusa ku kintu kimwe.

Birumvikana ko iyo ari ikintu wemera (croyance) kandi wibanzeho, ni cyo gifata umwanya munini mu byishimo ushobora gukuramo.

Umunyamakuru: Umuco wo guca imyeyo ni uwo mu Rwanda gusa, cyangwa hari ahandi uboneka?

Ni umuco uvugwa cyane mu Rwanda ariko si umwihariko w’Abanyarwanda kuko no muri Congo, Burundi, Tanzaniya, Uganda, Zimbabwe urahavugwa. Wamye uhabwa agaciro cyane mu bihe bya kera ariko ubu ugenda ucika.

Mu bihugu by’i Burayi ntaho nawumvise no mu byo bigisha muri sexologie ntawo numvisemo mu buryo bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwaho.

Umunyamakuru: Nk’umuntu ufite ubumenyi buhagije mu bijyanye n’imikoreshereze y’igitsina, ubona umuco wo guca imyeyo waba ugikenewe mu Rwanda rw’ubu?

Sinzi niba umuntu yavuga ko kera uwo muco wari ukenewe ariko bigaragara ko wahabwaga agaciro icyo gihe.

N’ubu bivugwa ko ugikorwa na bamwe mu bakobwa. Byose biterwa n’imyemerere y’ubikora n’inyungu yumva abikuramo. Ubushakashatsi bwimbitse ni bwo bwatuma iki kibazo gihabwa igisubizo kitarimo amarangamutima.

Dr Balisanze avuga ko ubushakashatsi yakoze ku kwikinisha ku kibazo cyabazaga niba hari ibindi bijyanye n’ibitsina, imikoreshereze y’imyanya ndangagitsina n’imikundanire mu Banyarwanda byifuzwa gukorwaho ubushakashatsi, ngo 2/10 mu basubije bavuze ko bakeneye kumenya byinshi ku gukuna.

Nk’uko bigaragara mu nyigo yiswe Plaisirs croisés: gukuna-kunyaza, Missions, corps et sexualités dans le Rwanda contemporain Michela Fusaschi, ngo gukuna ni ijambo riganisha ku busobanuro bwo kwambara, gufata neza umubiri.

Mu Rwanda rwa kera aho abagore n’abakobwa batambaraga imyenda y’imbere, gukurura imyanya y’imbere (imishino) ngo byahishaga ubwambure.

Nk’uko abigaragaza mu nyigo ye, Michela avuga ko Abanyarwanda bahuzaga gukuna n’imyubakire y’urugo.

Byari itegeko ko umukobwa ugeze mu gihe cyo gushaka umugabo aba yarakunnye kugira ngo azamushimishe. Iyo yabaga atarabikoze, yarasenyaga kandi cyabaga ari igisebo ku muryango.

Gukuna byahabwaga agaciro karenze ibijyanye n’imibanire, bikinjira no mu myemerere. Abanyarwanda bemeraga ko kudakuna, cyangwa se kubikora nabi bituma ubutaka butera, cyangwa se bigakurura ibyago, nk’uko bigaragazwa na Michela.

Na ho umugabo we ngo yabaga yaravutse yambaye, ntacyo yabaga akeneye gukora kindi. Ngo ibi bigaragaza uburyo umugore yahoze akandamizwa n’umugabo mu Rwanda.

Mu gihe cy’ubukoloni, kiliziya gatulika yatangiye guca umuco wo gukuna, itangaza ko ari ukwikinisha.

Ubundi gukuna byakorwaga bite?

Ubundi gukuna muri rusange ngo byatangiraga umukobwa atarajya mu mihango, bigakomeza no mu bwangavu.

Mu Rwanda rwo hambere, nyirasenge w’umukobwa ni we wabaga afite inshingano zo kumwigisha ibijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina n’urugo, kurusha nyina.

Ni na we wamwigishaga gukuna, akamubwira icyo bimara, akanamushyiraho igitsure amubwira ko natabikora atazashaka umugabo ngo bishoboke.

Gukuna byakorwaga igihe abakobwa bagiye kuvoma, gutashya, cyangwa se gushaka imyeyo yo gukubuza, ari na ho havuye “Guca imyeyo.”

Abakobwa kandi babikoreraga ahantu habaga harateguriwe kubohera imisambi n’ibirago “Mu rubohero”, umwuga ukorwa n’ab’igitsina gore gusa mu Rwanda.

Iyo bageraga mu rubohero, bicagamo amatsinda ya babiri babiri, maze buri wese agakururira undi.

Nk’uko ababikoze babitangamo ubuhamya, ngo iyo umuntu agitangira guca imyeyo birababaza cyane, ariko ubwo buribwe bukagabanuka uko imyeyo iba miremire.
Kuri ubu guca imyeyo ntibigifite ingufu cyane kubera ubukoloni, kiliziya, tutiyibagije no kutagira imiryango kwa benshi mu bakobwa kubera amateka mabi yaranze u Rwanda.

Source: Izuba Rirashe

from Igitsina http://ift.tt/2tpZvBW

Dativa Mukamana afasha abagore n'abakobwa gukuna-guca imyeyo

Mukamana Dative ni umugore uzwi ku izina rya Masenge, akaba yararyiswe kubera akamaro afitiye abakobwa n’abagore batageze mu rubohero (Gukuna), nyuma bashimishe abagabo babo.

Aganira na Bwiza.com, uyu mugore yavuze ko uruhande rumwe ari umuganga urundi akaba umujyanama w’abakobwa n’abagore ku byerekeye imibanire y’abashakanye.

Aha, avuga ko ari muganga gakondo, uvura indwara nyinshi, ariko cyane cyane akaba yibanda ku bijyanye n’ubujyanama ku gitsinagore, uburyo bashimisha abo bashakanye hagendewe ku muco.

Ati: “Murabizi na kera Nyirasenge w’umuntu yabaga ari umuntu ukomeye, abakobwa baraza bakansanga, bati Masenge tubwire, ibyo bintu bita kujya mu rubohero (Gukuna cga guca imyeyo) ni ibiki?, muri iyi minsi abana nta kintu babiziho”.

Akomeza avuga ko hari abamugeraho akabigisha uko bakuna, akabigisha umuco w’uko washimisha umugabo dore ko ubu abana bamwe usanga nta n’ababyeyi cyangwa imiryango bagira.

Avuga kandi ko nyuma yo kubigisha bakagera aho bishimishije, bamwe basubira inyuma bakaza kumushimira ko ingo zabo zubatswe neza, bazi kunezeza abo bashakanye.

Mu gihe hari abibaza bati, ese umugore wabyaye yaca imyeyo bigakunda? Kuri iki, Masenge avuga ko ari ibintu bishoboka cyane.

Ati: “cyane, hari ukuntu umukobwa agira gutya agashaka atarigeze agera mu rubohero, akenshi bangeraho ku bw’ingaruka baba barahuye nazo mu ngo zabo, hari igihe aba yarashatse, umugabo ubikunda, wenda akamubaza ati kuki wowe utameze nk’abandi?.

Hari igihe we aba yarabipingaga yumva ko ntacyo bivuze cyangwa se atarigeze abona ayo mahirwe yo kubyigishwa, yagera mu rwe agahora mu nduru n’umugabo abimuziza, icyo gihe bangeraho nkabashyira mu rubohero”.

Akomeza avuga ko hari n’abagabo bamugeraho bamubwira uburyo abagore babo bataciye imyeyo, bikaba ngombwa ko abahuza, akamuzanira umugore we nawe akamufasha kuyica.

Ubundi ngo gukuna byakagombye gutangira gukorwa ku myaka 10 cga 12, ariko iyo ageze igihe arenza akagera kuri 20 cyangwa 30, ati: ”wenda yarabyaye bisabako,…buriya iyo akiri mutoya umubiri we uba woroshye, urakurura bikaza, ariko ku muntu mukuru we hifashishwa imiti yabugenewe kandi iyo miti nta ngaruka igira, iba itunganyijwe neza”.

Akomeza avuga ko adapfa gukorera ibi aho abonye hose, ko ku ivuriro akoreramo afite icyumba cyabugenewe, ndetse n’igitanda, by’umwihariko ko hari abaza akabaha imiti bazajya bifashisha bakuna mu gihe babyishoboreye, utabibashije akajya afata iminsi akaza akabimukorera kuzageza ku rugero rushimishije.

Ati: “mfite igipimo nkoresha, iyo mbonye yagwije ndamusezerera, iyo bibaye birebire cyane cga bigufi ntabwo aba ari byiza, hari urugero ntarengwa”.

Avuga ko hari imiti ya Kinyarwanda bakoresha irimo amavuta y’inka, ko nka bakera bifashishaga intobo, ariko ku bwe avuga ko atari nziza ko zatera ubundi burwayi.

Ese Gukuna ni iki? Bikorwa gute?

Gukuna, cyangwa se Guca imyeyo nk’uko bamwe babyita ni umuhango wa gikobwa ukorwa mu muco nyarwanda no mu bindi bihugu bya Afurika ugamije gutegura umukobwa kuba umugore ubereye umugabo, utangira umukobwa ari umwangavu kuko umubiri uba utarakomera rimwe na rimwe atarajya mu mihango ya gikobw, Gusa ku bwa Masenge anavuga ko ku bagore babyaye abafasha bigashoboka.

Bikorwa gute?

Wicaza ikibuno hasi, ugashinga ibirenge ku buryo amavi ashobora kugera ku ntugu zombi, ukanyuza amaboko munsi y’ibibero ufite uruvange rw’ibyo ukunisha cyangwa se amavuta y’inka akuze (iyo ari intangiriro), ukuboko kumwe gukurura umushino biteganye.

Kaba kakiri gato noneho kakagenda gakura uko uhataho ukuna, ukururira rimwe ujyana hasi, mu ntangiriro birababaza ndetse rimwe na rimwe ukumva wabireka, ari nayo mpamvu abakobwa ba kera bakuniraga hamwe barenze umwe kugirango batizanye umurindi. Iyo umaze kugira umushino ufatika, ugeraho ugakuna utazura umushino mu bugari bwawo kugirango biwugire mugari, kugeza ugwije” imyugariro”

Masenge avuga ko nubwo hari bamwe afasha gukurura iyi mishino kugeza ku rugero runaka, anavuga ko hari abishyira hamwe bakamutumira kugirango bamarane isoni, akabigishiriza hamwe kandi bakazagera ku ntego.

Akamaro ko gukuna mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro ni akahe?

Nk’uko mu ntangiroro twabikomojeho gato, umugore utarigeze akuna ashobora guhura n’imbogamizi z’uko yasanga umugabo we abikunda, iyo wakunnye biba akarusho kuko umugore wakunnye areta vuba kandi akihuta mu kunyara no mu gusohora, ndetse bifasha umugabo we, akumva ko atarimo kuruhira ubusa, biramunezeza cyane iyo baharuranye ikivi batangiranye (bakarangiriza rimwe).
Umugore utarakunnye ntibivuze ko ari uwo gusendwa, kuko hari n’abadakora ibi byose kandi bagashimisha abagabo babo ariko n’ubwo bwose amajyambere agenda yihuta umugore wakunnye uzi n’ibyiza byabyo mu kunezeza umugabo we nawe aba yifuza ko umwana we abikora.

Kubera ko uyu muhango wa gikobwa wakorerwaga mu gasozi, nko mu gashyamba, abakobwa bitwazaga kujya “guca imyeyo” ari naho havuye iyo mvugo yo guca imyeyo, bakitwaza kujya guca ubwatsi, gutashya inkwi, kujya mu rubohero,…

Ubaye hari icyo ushaka kubaza Mukamana Dative (Masenge) bariza kuri iyi Email:kamikazigentille08@gmail.com cyangwa se ubarize kuri 0785058200! Murakoze.

from Igitsina http://ift.tt/2tTTRLW

Guca imyeyo:Uko naciye imyeyo

Iribagiza Honoline(Izina ryahinduwe kubw’umutekano we), ubu ni umugore arubatse ndetse abyaye kabiri, Mukiganiro yagiranye n’ibyamamare.com, yatuganirije atubwira uko yaciye imyeyo.

Ese ni gute yakoze uwo muhango wo guca imyeyo, yabigenje ate kandi n’iki yari agamije kugeraho kugirango abashe kwihanganira ibyo yahuye nabyo bitoroshye ubwo yari muri iki gikorwa? Cyera byarakorwaga cyane , ese kuri ubu ho bimeze bite kubakobwa baca imyeyo?

Mu magambo ye uyu mwari mutegarugori ati “ Mu ntangiriro sinarinzi iyo biva niyo bijya ndetse sinari naziko bibaho. Nari mfite imyaka 10 , ubwo nigaga mu mwaka wa 3 w’amashuri abanza. Murugo nakuranye n’umukobwa wandutaka mu myaka , akaba ari nawe waje kunyigisha guca imyeyo.

Nakundaga kubabona biherereye we n’umukozi wabaga mu rugo nkayoberwa ibyo barimo, umunsi umwe nababajije ibyo barimo bambwirako baba bari kwiganirira ngo nanjye njye nza banganirize.

Ubwambere ngiye ngo banganirize bahise bambwira ngo nkuremo akambaro k’imbere mbereke maze bibanza kuntera ubwoba bibasabako nabo babanza bakanyereka . Baranyeretse kandi koko mbonako hari aho ibitsina byacu bitandukaniye kuko bo bari bamaze igihe bakora icyo gikorwa cyo guca imyeyo.

Nifuje kumenya icyo babikorera maze bambwirako aribwo umugore yishima cyane arinako ashimisha umugabo we mu gihe cyo kubaka urugo(igihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina) kandi ngo ninabwo uba wujuje ubugore nyabwo, maze nanjye mpita ntangira guca imyeyo kuva icyo gihe.

Batangiye kujya bagenda bakurura imwe ku myanya ndangagitsina cyanjye arinako banyereka uko nzajya mbyikorera igihe badahari .

Ntago ari ibintu bipfa kworoha cyane kuko iyo urimo ukurura wa mubiri wawe ninako uba ubabara ariko nyuma bidatinze ukabimenyera.

Nabitangiye kuva icyo gihe mfite imyaka 10 ngenda niberaho muri ubwo buzima kugeza mbonyeko hari ibice byo kumyanya ndangagitsina cyanjye yakwedutse igakura . Ubwo ibyo byose nanjye nabikoze ngambiriye kuzajya nyurwa ndetse nkananyura umugabo wanjye mugihe turi mu gikorwa cy’imibonano mpuza bitsina.

Kuba narakoze ibyo byose ariko nirinze kugira umuhungu n’umwe turyamana Atari umugabo wanjye kuko intego yanjye yari ukuzubaka ummuryango wanjye tukabaho mubyishimo. Nagerageje uko nshoboye ngumana ubusugi bwanjye kugeza igihe uwo turushinze ariwe mbumburiye amaguru.

Ariko muri izo nzira nanyuzemo ngamije gushimisha umugabo wanjye ,mbere y’uko ndyamana n’umugabo wanjye namubajije ari uhitamo umugore waciye imyeyo n’utarayiciye uba uhisemo neza, maze nza gutungurwa n’igisubizo yampaye cyatumye numvako atari itegekoko buri mugore wese atagomba kuba yaraciye imyeyo.

Umugabo wanjye mbimubaza yambwiyeko ibyo we atabigenderaho icyangombwa ari uko ankunda ntakindi yitayeho. Ibyo byanatumye kandi numvako niyo mba ntarayiciye imyeyo bitari kumubuza kunkunda ngo tunaryoherwe.”

Iki gikorwa cyo guca imyeyo cyabayeho kuva cyera ndetse no kugeza n’ubu hari benshi mubakobwa bakitabira gukora uyu muhango n’ubwo bitagikunzwe nka mbere abakobwa babifataga nk’umuco . Abandi bo muri kino gihe , abenshi ntibabiha umwanya ngo babyiteho.

INKOMOKO YO GUCA IMYEYO

Gukuna cyangwa Guca imyeyo mu yindi mvugo ni umwe mu mihango yo mu muco nyarwanda yo hambere ndetse ikorwa n’umubare muto w’abakobwa b’iki gihe tugezemo. N’ubwo abanyarwanda bazi ko ari umwihariko wabo ,hari ibindi bihugu bigira uyu muhango,aha twavuga: Repuburika Iharanira Demokarasi ya Congo,Zimbabwe,Sudani,Afurika y’Epfo n’ibindi bihugu biherereye muri iki gice cy’Afurika,Benin.

Impamvu gukuna byiswe guca imyeyo ni uko akenshi iki gikorwa cyakorwaga n’abakobwa babaga bagiye guca imyeyo yo gukubuza. Si buri mukobwa wese wakoraga uyu muhango. Umukobwa wese wabaga ageze mu kigero cy’ubwangavu yagombaga gukuna.

UKO GUCA IMYEYO BIKORWA MU BUSANZWE.

Wicaza ikibuno hasi, ugashinga ibirenge ku buryo amavi ashobora kugera ku ntugu zombi, ukanyuza amaboko munsi y’ibibero ufite rwa ruvange rw’ibyo ukunisha cyangwa se amavuta y’inka akuze (iyo ari intangiriro), ukuboko kumwe gukurura umushino biteganye. Kaba kakiri gato noneho kakagenda gakura uko uhataho ukuna, ukururira rimwe ujyana hasi, mu ntangiriro birababaza ndetse rimwe na rimwe ukumva wabireka, ari nayo mpamvu abakobwa bakuniraga hamwe barenze umwe kugirango batizanye umurindi. Iyo umaze kugira umushino ufatika, ugeraho ugakuna utazura umushino mu bugari bwawo kugirango biwugire mugari, kugeza ugwije” imyugariro”.

Iyo ukurura ucunganwa no kutarenza urugingo rwa kabiri rwa musumbazose cm 6-7, hari n’abanezezwa no gukuna akarurenza ariko byitwa “gukuna ibiziriko”, ndetse ngo uwakunnye ibiziriko agira umushyukwe cyane ndetse akifuza vuba igitsina mu gihe ari mu minsi y’uburumbuke, gusa hakabaho kwifata kugirango atiyangiriza ubukobwa bwe. Uretse uku gukuna bisanzwe, ngo hari n’indi mihango yakorwaga: Guhaguruka agasimbiza ya myenda yari yicariye ngo ibyo ni ugukuza ibintu bye ngo bijye ejuru. Hanyuma akunama cyane agakoza ibiganza hasi avuga amagambo bucece, agapfukama agakubita ku bibero bye akavuga andi bityo bityo.

Yarangizaga gukuna agakubita utugeri hasi akazamura agatsinsino akagakoza mu ntege ati “sindega ikicaro cy’undi ngo ahebe. Umukobwa arahanyura akanyongerera, n’umugore akahanyura akanyongerera. » Yarangiza akarundarunda neza ubwatsi yari yicariye agasubira muri ya magambo. Yarangizaga ibyo byose ngo akahabyinira akadiho yishimira ko yagwijije cyangwa se ko azagwiza vuba, ni uko ati “agati gaciye ntikabura izuba”.

Abakobwa benshi bagiye kurangiza guca imyeyo umwe yabwiraga undi ati, « amashyo n’amagana”, undi ati “amagana yuzukuruke imishino”. Maze bagataha. Bararangizaga bagahagurukira rimwe ntawe utanze undi ngo bakunde bazagwirize rimwe.

Abakobwa barangije gukuna bashoboraga no gukurakuza. Ibingibi kukaba kwari ugusiganaho ibitsina byabo (nk’abakora imibonano), babiri babiri, ngo umwe akaba ari kongerera mugenzi we. Iyo na none babaga bageze nko ku ruzi, bashoboraga gufata inyogaruzi bakayishyira ku moko y’ibere ngo irirume hanyuma rizakure vuba.

AKAMARO

Abakobwa bo ha mbere bakoraga uyu muhango mu rwego rwo kuzizihira abagabo babo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina. Ikindi byabamariraga ni ukurinda ko hari umwanda wakwinjira mu gitsina(Vagin cyangwa Rutezo mu Kinyarwanda). Nta myenda y’imbere(Amakariso) bagiraga. Kuri ubu ababikora baba bashaka kubahiriza umuco wa ba sogokuruza ndetse no kuzaryohereza umugabo mu gihe batera akabariro ku rugo.

Ese kuba hasigaye habaho abagore benshi batagendeye muri iyi mihango nyarwanda ya cyera m ubona hari icyo byakwangiza mumibanire yabo n’abagabo babo mungo zabo? Ese koko hari itandukaniro riboneka muburyohe kuri aba baba baraciye imyeyo igihe bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina?

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Yatandukanye n'umuhungu kubera guca imyeyo

Mu buhamya bwe, uyu mukobwa wahawe amazina ya Uwayo Peninah kubera impamvu ze bwite yagize ati “ Nitwa Uwayo Peninah ( amazina yahinduwe), mfite imyaka 27 y’amavuko, ntuye mu Murenge wa Remera. Nyuma ya Jenoside, twari dutuye mu Karere ka Rwamagana nisanze nta babyeyi mfite, mu gihe cyo guhunga twaburanye nabo kugeza uyu munota.

Byabaye ngombwa ko ndera abavandimwe banjye batatu, twarutanwaga umwaka umwe umwe. Mu 1994 nari mfite imyaka itandatu , ni njyewe wari mukuru kandi nagombaga kurera barumuna banjye tukiga tukabaho ubuzima bugakomeza.

Bitewe n’uko nahoraga mpangayikiye ubuzima bwacu, sinigeze ngira agakungu n’abandi bakobwa b’urungano ngo tujye tuganira utuntu twose.

Niyo babaga bazanye ibiganiro runaka bitewe n’isomo twize nahitaga nitahira nkavuga ko ngiye mu mirimo y’urugo rwacu ko bo impamvu bagenda baganira ari uko basizeyo ababyeyi.

Ubuzima bwacu ntibwigeze buba bubi cyane nubwo twireraga kuko imiryango yacu yatubaye hafi.

Uko namenye ibyo guca imyeyo …

Ngeze mu mashuri yisumbuye mu mwaka wa 2002 natangiye kugira inshuti z’abakobwa twaraganiraga kuko bwo nigaga mba mu kigo.

Ndabyibuka twari tumaze kwiga isomo ry’imyororokere y’umugore mu isomo ry’ubumenyamuntu (biology) ubwo nibwo ku nshuro ya mbere umunyeshuri yabajije mwarimu niba guca imyeyo (gukuna ) hari icyo bifasha umugore mu myororokere.

Umwarimu yamusubije ko nta cyo byongera ko ahubwo byari umuco w’Abanyarwanda bo hambere ko ariko umuntu yumvise ashaka gukomeza uwo muco yawukomeza kuko ntacyo utwaye.

Abakobwa b’inkumi twiganaga bajyaga babituganiriza ko umukobwa utarabikoze umugabo we amwirukana nkumva ko wenda ari iby’abakera ndabireka burundu numva ko icyangombwa ari ukwifata.

Naje gukundana n’umusore antegeko guca imyeyo…

Nageze muri Kaminuza 2010 ni ubwa mbere nari nkundanye n’umusore bya nyabyo kuko ubundi n’uwambwiraga ko ankunda numvaga ko ashaka kuntesha amashuri yanjye, ngahita muhindura umwanzi wanjye.

Umuhungu naramunanije , mubwira ko mfite inshuti ariko yanga kubyumva yarakomeje arankunda bitewe n’ukuntu yanyitagaho nanjye natangiye kumukunda noneho bigera aho ntashobora no kubihisha bikagaragarira buri wese.

Muri 2011 nigaga mu mwaka wa kabiri mu gihembwe cya kabiri (semester two), we yigaga imbere yanjye mu mwaka wa gatatu, yambwiye ko anshaka umwanya munini , twahuriye ahantu turaganira nk’uko byari bisanzwe.

Yongeye kunsubiriramo ko ankunda kandi koko nari narabibonye nyuma y’umwaka usaga dukundana.

Yansabye ko twembi tuvugisha ukuri ku bijyanye n’ubuzima butwerekeyeho kuko twari tugeze mu gihe cyo kwizerana bya nyabyo.

Yambajije niba narigeze nkora imibonano mpuzabitsina , naramuhakaniye kandi koko sinari narigeze nyikora. Nawe yambwije ukuri ko atari yabikora na rimwe.

Yambwiye ko nubwo ankunda adashobora kuzashaka umugore utaraciye imyeyo (gukuna ) kuko ari umuco mwiza w’abanyarwandakazi ,utuma umugore n’umugabo baryoherwa mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina .

Ako kanya nibutse ko ibyo bintu byo guca imyeyo nagiye mbyirengagiza kenshi , byarandemereye kuko sinari niteguye kumureka nari naramaze kumukunda bihambaye.

Twahagurutse aho nta kindi kintu mvuze, narihanganye ariko numvaga ndimo gushira kuko numvaga ntabasha guca imyeyo, kuko nari mukuru kandi niga muri Kaminuza.
Yansabye kubitekerezaho ambwira ko igitumye ambwira ubuzima bwe bwose kandi akansaba ko nazaca imyeyo ari ukugira ngo tuzagire urugo rwiza ruzira gucana inyuma.

Nyuma naje guca imyeyo…

Nyuma yo kunsaba guca imyeyo cyangwa tugatandukana, namwumvishije ko ibyo ntacyo bimaze ko ari imyumvire ya cyera. Yanze kunyumva ambwira ko uretse ko no kuba yarabyumvanye abandi basore n’abagabo bakuze, mama we nawe yabimubwiye ko umukobwa utaraciye imyeyo aba adafite umuco.

Twamaze nk’ibyumweru bibiri narananiwe gufata umwanzuro wo kumureka cyangwa kuba nakora ibyo yansabye (guca imyeyo).

Kumureka byarananiye mubwira ko ngiye gutangira kubikora , yambwiye ko nta gomba kumukinisha kandi koko sinashoboraga kumubeshya, nahise ntangira kubikora
Icyo kibazo nakibwiye umukobwa twabanaga muri cyumba yambwiye ko azabimfashamo.

Uko natangiye gukuna…

Nipfukaga mu maso, umukobwa twabanaga akanshira imyeyo (akankunira) byarambabazaga kuko biryana cyane iyo ukibitangira naje kubimenyera. Numvaga narabyiyemeje.

Nyuma twaje gutandukana…

Ku munsi wo guhabwa impamyabumenyi mu 2013 yaranyerekanye mu nshuti ze no mu muryango we, numvise ko nta gisigaye ndushaho kumwiyumvamo.
Bukeye bwaho yanshimiye uburyo nitwaye mu birori bye, yambajije niba nararangije guca imyeyo namubwiye ko nabirangije.

Yansabye ko turyamana nyuma y’igihe tumaze dukundana agatangira kwishimana n’umukobwa yakunze igihe kinini kuko yari yaranatangiye gutegura ubukwe.

Nabanje kwanga ariko nyuma ndemera nari namaze kumufata nk’umugabo wanjye.

Twamaze kuryamana mbona ntiyishimye, arandakarira, ambwira ko ibyo yari yiteze atari byo abonye kuko yasanze guca imyeyo ari umwanda aho gutera ibyishimo nk’uko yari yarabibwiwe.

Yanyanze urwango rukomeye nkagira ngo bizarangira ariko byarakomeje kuko yambwiye ko nubwo yanduhije akansaba guca imyeyo nkuze adashobora kubana nanjye kuko byamubihiye bikomeye kandi aribwo bwa mbere yari akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Hari ikintu nsigaye nicuza…

Ntabwo nicuza kuba naraciye imyeyo nkuze ahubwo ikintu nicuza gihora kinshengura umutima ni uko inshuro ya mbere nakozeho imibonano mpuzabitsina ariyo yanabaye intandaro yo gutandukana n’umuntu umwe rukumbi nakunze kurusha abandi mu buzima bwanjye.

Agahinda n’inama ku bakobwa

Nterwa agahinda n’umubabaro nagize mu guca imyeyo nkuze ngo nkunde nshimishe umukunzi ariko ubu nkaba ndirira mu myotsi.

Mbona bitagishobotse ko twabana kuko nubwo ambwira ko nta nshuti yindi afite yaransembeye ko atashaka umukobwa bakoze imibonano mpuzabitsina bwa mu buzima bwe bikamubabaza.

Ndagira inama abakobwa kutita ku byifuzo by’abasore bari hanze aha kuko usanga agusaba ibidashoboka wabimuha nabwo ugahinduka umwanzi.

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Ese gukuna ukuze birashoboka

GISUBIZO:
Mu muco nyarwanda ubundi umukobwa yatangiraga guca imyeyo mu bwangavu. Ibi byarorohaga cyane kubera ko yabaga ari mu myaka yo gukura kw’imyanya myibarukiro ye. Byatumaga no kugwiza agwiza vuba. Wamaze kurenga ubwangavu rero, guca imyeyo na bwo byakunda, gusa kugwiza biba bigoye, bisaba imbaraga nyinshi kurusha izo wari gukoresha ukiri umwangavu.

Ariko aha icyo ukwiriye kubanza kwibaza ni iki: Ese guca imyeyo ni ngombwa? Akamaro kabyo ni akahe? Ese umukobwa waciye imyeyo, iyo arushinze ibigenda neza ubundi bitagenda neza k’utarayiciye ni ibihe? Ese koko birahari?

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IKIBAZO: Ku mugabo ufite igitsina kirekire, ese hari ubwo yemerewe kukinjiza cyose mu gihe atera akabariro n’umugore we utwite? Ubwo se ntiyageza aho umwana ari?

IKIBAZO: Ku mugabo ufite igitsina kirekire, ese hari ubwo yemerewe kukinjiza cyose mu gihe atera akabariro n’umugore we utwite? Ubwo se ntiyageza aho umwana ari? IGISUBIZO: Iyo igitsina kinjira umugore ntababare, bisobanura ko kidahungabanya inkondo y'umura. Umwana ntashobora kubangamirwa kuko inkondo y'umura iba ifunze, we aba yibereye mu mura, mu gihe igitsina kiba kigera mu nda ibyara gusa kuko ari ho imibonano ibera.

Ntabwo igitsina kinjira mu mura. N’iyo umugore yaba adatwite, igitsina kiramutse gishaka kurenga inkondo y’umura umugore yahita abyumva, ndetse hari n’igihe ashobora gukomereka hakaza amaraso. Muri rusange, igitsina cy’umugore kiba gifite ubugari buruta uburebure n’umubyimba by’igitsina gabo, ku buryo imibonano igenda neza kuri benshi.

Tubikesha Emma Claudine

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